An NYC Therapist’s Advice for Managing Holiday Travel Stress
Contributed By: Erin McMaugh Tierno
The holiday season is hectic, especially if you’re planning to travel. Travel can be a cause of stress at any time during the year, and the holidays are no different. There are complicated logistics to sort out, exorbitant travel costs to budget for, and impossible decisions to make (Should you spend a fortune on a taxi or have your elderly grandmother pick you up?). Plus, You may find yourself putting in long hours at work in anticipation of the trip to tie up loose ends before you leave, which another source of stress in itself.
As anxiety therapists, we are well versed in strategies for effectively managing holiday travel stress. Here are three of our best tips:
1. Mentally Prepare
What are your expectations? What would the “perfect” trip look like to you? How will you cope if things don’t work out as planned? If you can’t wrap your head around the thought of something going less than perfectly, why is that?
There may be deep psychological reasons that make your logistical concerns feel more daunting. For example, the thought of showing up late may be intolerable. If so, you might ask yourself whether you’ve subconsciously taken on the role of people-pleaser or peacekeeper.
Another strategy to consider is practicing grounding and/or cognitive exercises before your trip. Some people get the best anxiety reduction by checking in with their bodies through deep breathing or similar techniques. Others get the best results with cognitive-behavioral analysis, i.e., observing the relationship between their thoughts, actions, and emotions.
Identifying techniques that work for you before your trip is key so you’re well equipped to manage your anxiety when it strikes. If you don’t regularly practice grounding or cognitive-behavioral techniques, consider working with an anxiety therapist. An experienced psychotherapist can help you experiment with various methods that can help calm you, which you can utilize beyond the holiday season, all year round.
2. Go Easy on Yourself
Don’t add to your holiday stress by making your feelings into yet another problem. For example, maybe you resent that you are always the one who must travel over the holidays. . . but you feel guilty about feeling that way. “Why do I feel resentful?” you might ask. “Shouldn’t I just be excited to see everyone? I must be a bad daughter/friend/sister/etc.”
You’re under a lot of pressure, and it’s perfectly understandable to feel resentful, guilty or anxious. Give yourself permission to feel however you’re feeling, even if you don’t understand why you feel the way you do. Trust that your emotions are there for a reason, and show yourself some compassion.
If you find yourself struggling to react to things in a calm manner frequently, you might consider working with an anxiety therapist to improve your emotional resilience for the future. But, keep in mind that change doesn’t happen overnight. In the, present moment, be kind and patient with yourself.
3. Treat holiday stress as a learning experience
Holiday stress is uncomfortable, but it can teach you a lot about yourself and your relationships. While the holidays are certainly challenging in their own right, they also tend to magnify pre-existing friction in your relationships.
For example, maybe you’re experiencing a lot of trepidation about staying at your sister’s house instead of a hotel, but you’re not sure why. Once you arrive, you can find clues by paying attention to what triggers you. Do your fists clench and your shoulders tense when your sister criticizes you for bringing your work laptop to her dinner party?
Speaking with your anxiety therapist about your strong reaction after your trip can help you figure out the possible reasons behind it. Maybe your sister has a history of being overly critical, and you need to set some boundaries with her. Alternatively, you might realize that you’ve needed better boundaries at work for a long time, but you’ve resisted delegating due to perfectionism. You already know it’s an issue, so you’re defensive about it and react strongly.
Most people aren’t consciously aware of why they react to certain things more strongly than others. By treating holiday travel stress as a learning experience, you can understand your psychology better. That understanding may be the key to managing your holiday stress more successfully in the future.
If you need help reducing your anxiety ahead of an upcoming trip—or help with holiday stress in general—consider working with us. Our online anxiety treatment service and experienced therapists have helped hundreds of people in NYC and throughout the state cope with excessive stress. Contact us for a free consultation to learn more. You can also follow our blog for more holiday stress management tips.